


A saviour is born

by Hoppspindel



Category: Naruto
Genre: Crack Fic, F/M, M/M, and it's all hidan and kakuzu's fault, but kinda, don't take this one too seriously, jashin will destroy the world, not really m-preg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-07
Updated: 2018-12-07
Packaged: 2019-09-13 12:53:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16892976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hoppspindel/pseuds/Hoppspindel
Summary: As I recall this, it all started with me posting a porn comic on tumblr where Hidan had accidentally been turned into a woman during a battle. Syndellwins and I staretd talking about headcanons. Then Creamphile (on tumblr) made some amazing artworks with Kakuzu, Hidan and their kid. And then I kinda wrote a short crack fic.





	A saviour is born

It was now a month since Hidan had unexpectedly been turned into a woman, and he had basically started to give up on the idea of ever getting his original body back. Once he got all of his clothes re-made to fit his new, smaller form the whole thing wasn’t actually such a big deal. Sure, people looked when he walked around shirtless and sometimes men tried to grope him, but hey that just meant more victims to sacrifice for Jashin so it was all good! (And besides, he’d had his period once and man, that was fucking awesome when it came down to performing his rituals!)

One night the Akatsuki duo had made camp in a small grove in the middle of a vast forest. They were heading towards their next mission, and there was no towns around for miles. Sleeping under a clear sky wasn’t so bad tho when it was a warm summer night like this one, and Hidan soon fell asleep on a spot of soft grass next to Kakuzu.

The next thing he knew he was standing in complete darkness. It was warm tho, and his feet were halfway submerged in some thick, warm liquid (it felt like anyway). Somewhere around him he heard the sounds of dripping fluids and the air smelled strongly of fresh blood. Suddenly a shapeless form appeared before him! The shape moved and changed and glowed with a dim red light, and Hidan suddenly realized what he was seeing. Immediately he fell down to his knees in worship.

“Jashin, my God.” He said, voice shaking with awe. To get a vision directly from his God was a rare thing. He had only experienced this one time before, when he was initiated into the religion and he hadn’t expected Jashin to ever appear before him again. Not until his time on earth was done anyway!

“Hidan, my most lojal subject!” A voice boomed inside of Hidan’s head. “The time has come for me to take over this world and submerge it into total chaos and destruction! You have been the one of my followers who has been most vigorous in spreading my teachings and annihilate all people! Your body count is most impressive! Therefore I have now chosen you to be the one to bring forth my true vessel into this earth!”

Hidan felt light headed from the praise. All he wanted to do was serve his God, and to hear this from its own mouth (well sort of, since it was an incorporeal being) was the ultimate feeling for him!

“Yes, my God Jashin, I will do anything you desire! Tell me your commands!” Hidan said with only a hint of a tremble in his voice.

“It is I who has made your body as it is now! I did it so that you can be the one to give birth to my new body! Hidan, make me a child so that I can be born into the mortal world and begin the slaughter!” Jashin’s voice echoed triumphantly inside of Hidan’s head and Hidan was, for once, speachless for a moment.

“Y-Yes, my God. Your will shall be done!”

“Good! And as a reward I will grant you your original body back as soon as the child is born!”

The vision started to fade away and Hidan felt a sensation much like falling. Then he opened his eyes and found himself lying on the grass in that grove again. Kakuzu was lying next to him, but he hadn’t fallen asleep yet. Hidan looked at him for a while until Kakuzu sighed loudly and asked with irritation in his voice “What is it? You’re staring at me.”

“Hey Kakuzu, we gotta do a thing.”

(Nine months later Hidan got his body back to normal just as Jashin had promised. Kakuzu hadn’t known about the pregnancy until it started showing on Hidan and he hadn’t been too happy about it, to say the least. He didn’t buy Hidan’s ramblings about the anti christ living in his belly either, and when the kid popped out it sure looked just like a normal baby. Screamed and pooped like one too …the screaming was particularly hard on Kakuzu’s nerves.. Still, he stayed with Hidan the entire time, and Hidan knew better than ask questions about it. One time, Hidan even caught Kakuzu blowing raspberries on the kid’s belly and making it laugh like crazy. It was adorable! But as soon as Kakuzu noticed that Hidan had entered the room his eyes screamed ‘Murder!’ so Hidan pretended like he hadn’t seen a thing.)

The end (?)


End file.
